Practical Uses of Love & Belonging Essentials Training

  1. Love is a delight in goodness.
  2. Belonging is the appropriateness of relating to that delight.
  3. Joy is the experience of Love AND Belonging together.

So why are relationships so difficult?

Desires for goodness without maintaining harmony result in disorder and disorientation.

  • Disorder is the objective problem.
  • Disorientation is the subjective problem.
  • Fight response often loses perspective due to seeing the problem but losing sight of the joy that is at stake. “Win the battle but lose the war.”
  • Flee response also loses perspective but by trying to retreat from the joy that is at risk in pursuit of some other joy. “These are a few of my favourite things.”
  • Freeze response loses perspective and momentum and is trapped in the loss of joy.

Is there a better way forward than these?

Faithfulness to the joy is the way to regain perspective and face fears effectively. How?

  • Look back at past joys to remember what is at stake.
  • Look forward to future joys to shape your tactics now.
  • Look at your conflict with courage from these visions of joy.

How can I get a joyful perspective when I feel threatened?

This is where we discussed self-care that is not selfish. We explored how the stream of ideas related to Love & Belonging needs to be part of one’s essential identity.

When can I enjoy progress?

The flow of ideas about Love & Belonging is like a stream.

  1. Treasure joy in general as you approach specific issues.
  2. Prune ways of dealing with issues that are contrary to a joyful outcome.
  3. Support ways of dealing with issues by harmonizing with others.
  4. Extend whatever appropriate goodness that is in your control regardless of the factors that are not in your control.
  5. Celebrate the success of your process even before it bears fruit.



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